on 2011-07-11 10:50 pm (UTC)
Hm.

Well. May I tell you what I think? Keeping in mind that it's no way professional, personal, or even fact what I'm saying, be it good or bad?

I think they, all three, have a good base. Both for plot expansion and character expansion, but I also think that how far you can take it is up to your imagination--if you stop it at a certain point, the plot can be classified as tradtitional for each type of story, but if you take it further it could lead to some surprising results that will show off your originality and your creativity. It depends on the type of 'rules' you were having for each story (seeing as all three seem to either take place in the future, an alternate reality, or in a fantasy universe) and it also depends on how far you're going to run with it, the otehr characters that will come in, et cetera. I think that you're going to need some plot twists to make the story really stand out, but going for a more predictable route--especially with the last one--wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

I found the descriptions...plentiful, which is good, but a little on the repetitive side and a little extravagant. What I find works best is to give details about characters' appearances gradually over time, while giving more of the grouped together, intricate-detailed descriptions to settings. It really all depends on author personal preferance and style, but books read better if detail is dispersed and not given all the time throughout the text. However, you do have a certain flare for finding good words, and also a large vocabulary. Dispensing detail only when necessary would really emphasise that, and that's always a perk you might want to consider.

Your rhythm and your punctuation are pretty good, I think, but everybody knows that as your writing style changes, evolves and improves, that sound or flow you want is going to change, so looking over it when you're finished is probably the best idea.

I can't really say more on the plot or characters without summaries, so I'm going to end it here. Hopefully this was the kind of thing you were looking for?

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